I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
