I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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