you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
