our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm both gender and math confused
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