Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
