Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
