the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
