If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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