dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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