having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
