redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
