The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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