Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
