He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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