so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
