he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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