Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize