I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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