we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
