I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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