Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
