...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Randomize
