its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
