i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize