smell my finger.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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