At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize