conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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