It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
