non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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