i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
A+ Viking dick
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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