Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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