you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
