our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
he just fucked me for my cheese.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
