Umm I'm too high to move.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
