Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
