I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
