I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
