I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
