I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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