talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Where is the hickey?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
