Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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