her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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