Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
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