Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
