i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
