we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
