They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
