i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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