I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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