my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
