Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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