It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We left an ass print on the piano.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
