Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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