So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
