I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
