White coat. Heels.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize