Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
