Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
