When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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