Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
