I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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