Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
