remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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