yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
